Tomorrow Never Dies.

I was just looking back through my blog.

A year ago, I wrote this entry.

Here I am a year later. How do I feel about it now?

 

 

I’m still unable to take care of myself entirely.

I’ve come to be bitterly angry at the people that were and still are helping me. Why? Because they want to help the me they wish I was, not the me I am or that they think I am.

Hypocrisy through the roof.

That’s why I don’t want to go back to America and that’s why more than anything else, I’m stressed and unhappy. I love it here. I’m free. People love me here. People accept me and appreciate me. The people in the church are Christlike. The people here that help me do love me and they love me for me.

Unfortunately I have to go back to America to the hypocrisy.

But I’ll accept it to some degree. Maybe I’ll come understand why I was led to slaughter and gutted. Maybe I’ll change to be that perfect dainty and docile, brainless little person everyone wants.

 

I think not.

I’ll accept the help, but I will not accept the so-called love. I’m not feeling it.

When the love is there, it will be accepted. But anything else I will not swallow.

Deal.

 

 

 

 

My mental condition is dragged around, the high price of your inhumane recklessness.
You untie my restraints now with a smile, but if you turn your head, I can see you’re dead on one side.
Serves you right.
The time I’ll believe a traitor like you is far away.
You’ve disturbed my dreams too much.
Even now, you cling to my mind and I can’t get away.

I don’t feel any guilt in smashing an unsightly insect like you down from the head.