Death

My great-uncle died on Friday.

I just heard about it around half an hour ago. I only met him once, because he's in a hospital in Finland. He was in a really bad car accident when he was younger and it left him a prisoner in his own body for many, many years. He seemed very sweet, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to meet him before he left.

But, even though I know he's in a better place, it's still very upsetting to me. I find death fascinating, yet it makes me cry. I don't care much for my own death - perhaps it's because I've cheated the almighty Death so many times - but whenever I think about anyone else dying, it's too much for me.

Death, and people getting hurt. Why is that? I could get into a horrible accident and not even blink - in fact, I was laughing the last time I had a brush with death (I lost control of an ATV and crashed into a thicket of trees, barely missing a head-on crash. I ended up tearing my arm open). But thinking of my brother simply being unresponsive because he hasn't taken care of his diabetes drives me into hysterics. My roommate finds a clip of Gackt passing out and I'm absolutely traumatized.

What is wrong with me?

Maybe I'm just oversensitive. Maybe that's just my nature, or I've become that way because of all the medical issues that have happened to my family in the past few years. But that doesn't explain why I could care less about my own life being extinguished and the mere thought of someone else losing consciousness makes me cry.

But at any length... I'm going to miss uncle Taisto. I pray that he is much happier where he is now.