One Step leads to Another

I applied to the Japanese Consulate for a scholarship that will take me to Japan for school for five years. I sent the application in last week.

I got an e-mail today saying that, should I pass the initial application, I will be required to sit exams on July 1st and 2nd.

While I am ecstatic to learn whether I passed the initial screening, the problem is that going to exams means missing at least two days of school. During summer term, this is a very bad idea. This also means that I have very little time to review my subjects so I have a decent chance of passing the exams, and thus moving on to the next screening.





Help me.

GetBackers Funnies

Because my dear friend Boredom struck again.


Please enjoy.

-AMV- Freesia [GB]

I finished watching the anime series GetBackers ("GetBackers 奪還屋") last night. It was quite a lovely, poignant series that I've absolutely adored. There was a lot of really interesting threads that wove into a plot; also, it was a series that was hilarious yet serious, making me laugh and cry at the same time. I found a lot of thought-inspiring moments in the series, that might inspire philosophical discussion... or, so I think. But, I'll find time to talk more about it later.

One of my favourite plot-threads, so to speak, is the relationship between Fuuchouin Kazuki and his friend, Kakei Juubei. Their situation such a touching, heart-wrenching thing that does plenty to outline the cruelty of the world that the characters, and we, exist in, and their relationship shows how redemption, kindness, and forgiveness can be found even in such a terrible world.

So, I made a quick little video last night, using some scenes from their first episodes together that I felt epitomized the essence of their relationship. Gackt's beautiful instrumental, "Freesia ~Op. 2~" fit the mood very well.

Please, enjoy. :) Feedback is always appreciated.


P.S. In floriography, freesia stands for reverence, respect, honour, and innocence.

Homesick / Lost

It's been about a month and a half - or maybe more - since I moved out of my home, and my family left for California. I thought that after this long, I wouldn't feel so out-of-place. I seem to have been wrong, as I so often am.

When you spend most of your life in one place, it's difficult to, all of a sudden, up and leave. Nowhere feels like home. I'm living with my grandparents right now, but soon I'll be off and living in an apartment near campus. I stay with my family for a little while out in California every now and then.

When people you should feel at home with are in so many places, or you are traveling so much and are in so many places, where exactly is home?

I think the only time I've ever felt so out of place was when I came back from London. I had become so comfortable in that little flat in Bayswater, and I had become so familiar with the area, that coming back was just plain weird. People sounded funny, and were driving on the wrong side of the road. Everything just seemed strange, and alien, like I had never been here before, or like I didn't belong here anymore. I still feel that way. I think I miss London more than I ever missed Utah.

Feeling like you don't belong anywhere is no fun. Everything is unfamiliar, even if you're in a familiar place like I am. I feel like a burden. I feel like I don't belong, or that I'm in the wrong place all the time... sometimes I even feel like soon, I'll just pack everything back up and go back to my purple room a few miles away, where everything was familiar and comfortable.

I just want to go home... but there is no home anymore.